Many times in my life I have heard the phrase "fake it till you make it" and never fully understood the meaning of these words. To me it seemed so foolish faking something that I'm not. With years passing by, and stepping on the path of me learning how to be confident I started to understand what it really means. I wasn't awfully awkward and shy, but time to time I just couldn't brink myself out of my shell. I would look at confident people with so much ... and ... . Something about confidence is so attractive and leading. I remember dreaming how i want to give a beautiful presentation with ought shivering and loosing my words, or walk in to a room full of strangers and be absolutely comfortable in my skin. And it didn't happen until i started " fake it till you make it" plan. I signed up for every possible club, performance, book reading I could find in my city. I signed up to everything and anything that will make me talk to strangers and speak up durring discussions. Hear me here, I sucked at public speaking, I truly did. I would sweat and almost faint, shake and shiver all while trying to push out a couple words out of me. Signing up to this clubs and events was the first step. participation was second. I would come in everyday and fake being interested in the topic, faked being happy to be there (because honestly i was terrified), I faked being good in public speaking. I honestly hated going there , but i hated even more not being confident in my own shoes.
Fake it till you make it is about training yourself to be comfortable in the most uncomfortable situation for you. By picking one thing that lowers your confidence and doing it over and over, literally faking your way thought it, until it no longer becomes a rehearsed act for you and becomes a form of personality though this nurturing way.
Its that magical time of the year! Oh yes I got it right. There is nothing more awaking and energizing then waking up from the sun shining through the shutters in the bedroom. It immediately wakes me up and I'm ready to concur everything and anything I have on my to do list. There is just something about the change of seasons from snowy dark winter mornings emerging in to green and fresh spring. We all know that this is the time to clean our dusty corners and make everything fresh and shinny. Most of us do listen and clean their homes and cars and even their workspaces, but many forget that everything begins with your inner self. All the messy surfaces always come from inner uproar. When one is in peace and on a solid ground with himself everything falls in to place, but once life takes a crazy turn, piles start to accumulate. For some reason winters are the hardest for me. I barely role out of bed after my alarm being snoozed over 6 times and reach for a cozy blanket to snuggle in on the couch. from one horizontal position to another. But spring is different. With the lightest beam of sunshine though the window i literally jump out of bed, and all thats because I know that this is the season to spring clean myself. No.1 Open all the windows wide, pull out your fabric and get to action. Scrub, vacuums, wipe, well you know the drill. All the good stuff. You cant spring clean your conscience and soul in a messy house. Try something new, move things around, paint a wall, get creative. We often focus so much on cleaning that we forget that It could be fun. Just yesterday I moved all my furniture around so it matched how I'm currently feeling. And no surprise that I feel more energized and motivated. No.2 Make an organized change. I looked back at my New Year Intentions and realized that I haven't done much of that list, to be honest I completely forgot what I even wrote on it. I pulled out my calendar and marked an achievement for every month. That way as the first, fifteenth and thirtieth comes around I get a reminder on my phone that I have to move forward on the list of intentions. No.3 Spring is about giving up the old and starting up with the new. Look at your life, your clothing, your friends, relationships, and jobs.... what needs to change? This is the perfect time to clearly think about it and make a seattle but direct move of letting go. Don't hold to anything that holds you back and doesn't doesn't make you happy and allows you to grow. No need of excessive drama, or burned bridges, a simple decision in your head that something needs to change will drive you to a natural outcome for you. No.4 Conscience is a big deal to some and others know how to ignore it. Do you have regrets? and what can you do about it? I hated that about a year ago i burned bridges with one of my best friends. She was always there for me and the one time that she wasn't I took radical actions of illuminating our friendship. Funny to say that we reconnected and it feels like we never tore apart. Take that step. Make an apology, write a letter, make a visit. Regrets are something that have a tendency to really hold us back. No.5
Take a chance in confidence. What makes your feel unconfident and little. We all do have one thing or another, that makes us turn in to those little scared kids that shyly hide behind their mothers skirt. Think about it deep and hard. Was it something that some one said, or was it that embarrassing moment in middle school? Once you came up with what it is think of three ways to make you feel good about it. Turn the card your way. Turn your negative thought that lovers your confidence in to your strong, proud quality. prologue This is my first post for this topic. Confidence is something that many of us wish they had but unfortunately not everyone dose. And this is where I step in. I taught myself to be confident and brave, free worded women right after high school. I was undecided in my major so I took a year of chances and learned who I’m, worked on my flows and self-development. Coming out as a confident young lady with clear image of future and one self. Through that in this short weekly blog post I would love to share my journey with you in hopes to influence a life or two. Taking to you about the word of confidence of the week answering any questions and developing the topic even further. I wanted to begin with the most important skill that is needed to learn how to be confident. Consistency!! To be consistent is to follow through with everything. To be reliable. This word is really important for a confident, successful person. There is a lot to the meaning of the word “consistency” than meets the eye.
To me it’s important to feel good about my day and know what I have done. What I have achieved since I woke up. Knowing that every day I'm consistent in few things makes me happy and makes me feel good about myself. Morning yoga, cup of warm water, night bath/shower, no work after six pm. Things that are not complicated to do and that you can honestly stick to. Realistic goals that actually are achievable.
I chose five little things that I wanted to work on, to gain consistency in and got to work. 1. Wake Up at 6 2. Drink at least 5 bottles of water in 24 hours 3. Don't start and end by day staring on the phone 4. Don't leave dirty dishes over night 5. No work after 6pm This where my five rules. The world would not collapse if I didn't follow though with it for a day or two but it did improve if I stuck to the plan. Now all five are a habit. I wake up without an alarm, and never leave the dishes over the night. Its no longer forced, and takes no effort because I became consistent in it. I encourage you to find just 5 things and try to stick to them for the upcoming month. It's fine if you miss a day here and there, but do encourage even the smallest efforts. As well as don't forget to let me know what 5 topics you chose and how It's going for you. Have you ever heard of a True Mirror? It’s a mirror that was brought back to us by John Walter who calls himself an artist and “re-inventor”. It allows you to see yourself the way other people see you. Yes, the mirror in our bedrooms shows us unrealistic reflection of ourselves. Many of us go life time perusing our image differently than the rest of the world will ever view it. Although isn’t it like that with everything in our life? We build who we are, our personality and our abilities place us in a specific circle of people that we feel relatable with. But many times we don’t come off as what we thought we are to other people. Some of us are too emotional that often comes of fake, others are shy and quite that can come off as socially awkward or reflect as unwillingness to be present. That’s funny to me that we are not what we are to the rest of the world. Let me break myself down for you. Or better yet how people see me. Based on the first impression of my pale white skin and blonde kissed hair I come off as “gentle” or at least that’s the word I have heard not the first time. Some say that I’m “quit”. To some I’m really tall and to others I’m quite short. And same goes for my body. I often come of mad or irritated to people, and to others really tired. But the reality is quite different. My husband can tell you that I’m anything but quite, especially when trying to teach him something or prove a point. I’m defiantly far from gentle. I’m carrying for people that I love, small kids and animals, but would never classify myself as gently. I’m 5’6”, above average for a women but defiantly not a model height. And although my friends always say how tinny and skinny I’m, I am actually just right for my height. And all that irritation or mad mood that I come off could be just a bad case of “hangry”. So now you stand between a chose. What do you care for more? What you see and think you are or how people view you? That’s an answer just for you, judgment free zone. So what is it that you want to be? At one point the idea of being a model got so deep in my head that I started hating my height. I wanted to be taller. But once I realized that this wasn’t my life goal, but a dream of others for me, my height immediately became perfect how it is. It’s easy to be influenced by opinions and social controversies. But I strongly believe that you, the way you are, with no filters, or social boarders are a gem.
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Author about "Breaking Barriers" blog:
Confidence is such an important skill to have. And I cant say that I always was the most confident person when it came to a certain things. But after taking a chance and working on myself I achieved perfect result. |